Twitter Can’t Keep A Secret

I've become so accustomed to firing up new technology programs without reading the instructions I sometimes find myself in "default" hell. For example, on my newly discarded Blackberry Curve I added a small program called Ubertwitter to use with the ubiquitous Twitter platform. I tore through the setup without paying much heed to the various options. For all I know my credit card and bank account were posted on the JumboTron in Times Square as a result of my Twitter-zeal.

But, I would advise people, especially my fellow males to be careful with programs like Ubertwitter. You see, this program, like many others associated with Twitter and the iPhone contains something called geo-tracking or geo-locating. Essentially, the program appends you location at the time you 'tweet' using a small hyperlink. Anyone following your tweets can click on that link and up pops a Google or GPS map leading to your location. On some programs, it will even overlay a Google Earth current satellite photo. Depending on the options you choose, the location shown may be as accurate as 100 feet (using GPS) or almost a mile (using cell phone tower triangulation).

So, let's say you told your girlfriend (because married men would never do the following, as we all know) you were heading to Duck Woods for a round of golf. But instead, you snuck a visit to that pretty young thing you met at the Brew Station last week when your girlfriend was out of town rescuing puppies for an animal shelter in need of volunteers. After a successful outing, you Tweet your friends with an iconic "thumbs up" gesture. And you return home to your girlfriend.

GF: How was golf?

Victim: I did OK. Shot in the 80's.

GF: Get a drink later?

Victim: Had one at the clubhouse.

GF: And the "thumbs up" tweet?

Victim: Birdied the ninth hole!

GF: And the lipstick on your shirt there?

Victim: You know how happy Dave gets when someone birdies…

GF: Hmmm..what about this map on your geolocater?

Victim: What's a geolocator?

GF: This…

GF: It shows up every time you 'tweet' Isn't that where Dave's wife said y'all met that really cute waitress last week?

Victim: (Note to self—married men tell their wives everything)..

Now, if you insist on keeping geolocation with your tweeting activity, I suggest you choose the " non-digital non-3G cell tower" option. Right now, 'tweeting from home, it says I am here…

Which is quite a distance from Nags Head….