Life in a small town can be, well, small. So it was no surprise when the occasion of opening Nags Head's (population: approximately 3200) second Food Lion brought out crowds, radio stations, and dignitaries for the Grand Opening
Our intrepid reporter interviewed the new manager, Lloyd Carbuncle, who advised our readers that the new store sold "meat, poultry, laundry supplies, beer, toilet paper and all kinds of other stuff including tapenade". Carbuncle admitted he had no idea what tapenade was, but noted it was "usually green and packaged in small jars.". Nags Head police were on hand to make sure no one entered or exited the premises with any plastic bags, which are illegal in that town.
According to Carbuncle, plastic bags were banned in Nags Head because sea turtles mistake them for jellyfish and upon ingestion, become hallucinogenic--thinking themselves sharks, whereupon they attack and devour tourists.
2 comments:
I'm surprised you survived the excitement. And tapenade is green? Funny, the ones I used to buy were white with a pick plastic applicator.
;-)
What? Ohhh that... Silly me. Well, if Carbunkle has tapenade, you're in the mainstream.
Meanwhile, on the other end of the beach, I purchased a gallon of paint from Home Depot on Friday. Using self-checkout, I placed the paint into a new, thicker plastic bag, complete with handles; something I never would have done with the old bags. Not too confident in carrying the paint that way, I proceeded, but held my breath until I got my vehicle. Battle won! But, (a big but) it still left no doubt in my mind that the new bag will fly in the wind just as well as the old ones. So, what's a fish or bird to do...eat or get caught up in the new bags...and take comfort in the thought that by being patient it just might breakdown or dissolve before it dies? Hmmmm?
Which all takes me back to the question: "How many times per year are the littering laws enforced on the Outer Banks?" Hell, an enforcement officer could follow a garbage truck around the county for one day and write a dozen tickets to the driver!
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