I have lived in the Town of Nags Head since about 1993. In all those years, one of the attributes of living in this fine town has been satisfaction with the town government. Throughout these 15+ years, Nags Head, unlike other Dare County locales, has been blessed with what most citizens would deem a competent and intelligent Board of Commissioners, excellent Town Managers, and a general feeling of well-being among the residents with the disposition of our government. In all of my years of living here, I can't say that I've ever really had a complaint with any elected official, nor any of the senior town administrators--from Town Manager to Public Works, Zoning, and Public Safety.
As a student of politics, this struck me as somewhat unusual. Today, this document arrived in the mail (click to enlarge)
That's right, its the Annual Nags Head Water Quality Report. I am sure the production of this report is required by some State or Federal agency with a staff of thousands and a budget of millions, but most years, I toss it in the garbage before entering the house. For some reason, this year, I actually brought it inside and read it in its entirety.
I was glad to know, for example, that there is no uranium in our water. I would think that a bad thing. It also keeps Iranians and North Korean agents from mining our water to make nuclear devices. Chlorine levels were on the high end, which I expected. Every time I come home from vacation and turn on a faucet after a week or two of absence, my house smells like a public swimming pool.
But buried in the fine print, under arsenic, Beta/Photon Emitters (Beam Me Up Scotty!), and Haloacetic Acids were "Other Components". And therein lies the answer with Nags Head's citizens level of satisfaction with our government. Here are the components of our water supply in this oft-ignored category:
Chardonnay: 150 parts per million (ppm)
Vodka-chlorine flavored-300 ppm
Zantac: 1,000 ppm
Nicorette: 300 ppm
THC: one bong hit per million
Jagermeister: 200 ppm
Barry Manilow Music: 1 song per million
And now we know the secret to Nags Head citizen's satisfaction with local government.